Are You Leading From Fear Or From Joy?

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work practitioner

This article provides an opportunity for you to reflect on your leadership.

Whatever kind of leadership role you hold, from organisational roles to parental roles to the challenges of leading yourself through life, this article will offer a framework through which to explore your leadership style. Continue Reading

What We Learned At Boarding School

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

Alone

Yes, that’s the key word,
the most awful word in the
English tongue. Murder doesn’t
hold a candle to it and hell is
only a poor synonym.
~Stephen King~

Introduction

There are as many different experiences of boarding school as there are ex-boarders, and experiences will vary enormously depending on the nature of the school, the family the child comes from, the child’s personality and the age at which they started boarding school. Continue Reading

Addictive behaviour and the Connection Shadow

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

Disconnection

London, 1992. I found myself alone, with a young baby, in a big city I didn’t know, teaching science in a tough Comprehensive. Life was hard, I was out of my depth and lonely. I needed help. The doctor suggested a counsellor. She cost £30 an hour. A bottle of wine at the time was about £7. Being on a very tight budget it didn’t take me long to decide that alcohol was going to be the best way to get some regular respite from my overwhelm and exhaustion… I could afford to have a glass of wine 7 nights a week rather than support for 1 hour a week. Also, my counsellor didn’t quite seem to be giving me the kind of support I needed, although I couldn’t work out what was missing… Continue Reading

Understanding Trauma

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

When we talk about the shadow we are usually referring to parts of ourselves that have been cut off, repressed, or denied. These shadow parts can influence us in difficult and confusing ways because they are so deeply hidden and out of our awareness. There are many different experiences that can cause us to put aspects of ourselves away in to shadow. Perhaps one of the most extreme and dramatic is when we experience trauma. Continue Reading

Examining our Fears and Fantasies

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

This is the last in a series of five posts about communication. When I teach communication I use the 5 Fields authentic communication framework which requires 5 different aspects to be communicated. These are:

Facts What actually happened

Fears and Fantasies What we imagine or believe about what happened

Feelings How we feel about what happened

Fortress What is not ok for us. Where we need to protect ourselves

Forward From Here What we want from the other person in the future Continue Reading

Communicating our boundaries

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

In the previous 3 communication blogs we have explored communication of the facts, our fears and fantasies, our feelings and how to move forward from here. Here we complete the picture by exploring the value of expressing our boundary. We call this section our fortress. This is where we protect and defend ourselves from experiences that cause us pain or difficulty. Continue Reading

Communicating our Vulnerability with Dignity.

An article by Marianne Hill – Independent Shadow Work Practitioner

In the last blog we explore the first two parts of the 5 Fields Authentic Communication framework – ‘Facts’ and ‘Fears and Fantasies’. You may want to take a look at this before you read on…

https://exploringtheshadow.co.uk/2016/01/13/communicating-without-arguing-2/

In this blog we are going to explore sections 3 and 5 of the model: ‘Feelings’ and ‘Forward From Here’.

Continue Reading

Communicating Without Arguing.

In order to communicate fully with another person it is important that we are able to express what is going on for us honestly. However, this can often lead to an ‘argument’, with our thoughts and feelings being denied by the other as they respond with pain and a desire to justify or excuse themselves.  Continue Reading

How can we communicate with authenticity and depth?

There are certain situations in our life that call for us to dig deep and talk about what is really important to us. When the stakes are high it is important that we communicate effectively, if we are misunderstood in these important moments it can cause much pain and confusion. When we wish to build trust in a relationship, or when we want to be sure we are really heard, things go much better if we can communicate what we want to say fully and authentically. In reality this is no small thing to achieve and it requires both courage and vulnerability. Continue Reading