An article by Marianne Hill – Founder and Director of Healing The Shadow
Over the time I have spent working with clients, groups and, more recently, running practitioner trainings, I have found an overriding ethic or principle has emerged, which guides me through the many different interpersonal interactions I have each day. I call this ‘The Enfoldment Principle’.
While the ideas behind this principle are not in any way new, unique or revelatory, my experience of living this principle has been transformational, both professionally and personally. In this article I will try to encapsulate in words the essence of this idea.
Unconditional Positive regard
As Healing The Shadow practitioners we aim, in the same way as nearly all other therapists, to provide a place of unconditional positive regard for our clients. We connect deeply with our clients and provide acceptance, care, even love. At the same time we understand that, in order to provide such a space we, ourselves, as practitioners, need to feel both safe and content.
So when holding space for our clients our aims are threefold: first, to provide a space where we connect deeply with the client and accept and welcome every part of them into the room; second, at the same time to hold our boundaries (for example, about the end time of a session); and third, to also state clearly what we want (for example, when and how we require payment to be made). Each of these three aspects is essential for the client to experience a deep and authentic level of holding.
The Enfoldment Principle
So what is the Enfoldment Principle? Very simply put, The Enfoldment Principle expresses the idea that it is not enough for this deep threefold holding to be extended only to the client – it is also necessary for the practitioner themselves to be receiving this level of holding.
If this isn’t happening in a significant way in the practitioner’s life, the holding that the client receives may appear on the surface to be warm and accepting, but may actually be experienced on an energetic level by the client as fragile and unsupported. There is a lack of integrity in the therapeutic relationship, which may feel like the energy of “do as I say, not as I do”.
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